Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
