I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
