He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
