I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
