Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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