Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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