Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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