I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize