I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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