I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
