I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
