my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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