She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
