i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
