bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
