spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
