I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
