i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Dear god my vagina.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
