You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
