He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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