covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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