I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize