Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
