I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
