Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize