I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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