haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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