Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Randomize
