I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
