Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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