She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize