the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
