Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
