And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
