Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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