She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
