Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
