my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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