I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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