I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Randomize
