'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I want her autograph on my taint
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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