i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Randomize
