Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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