If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
