You really coming over, don't trick.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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