I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
