Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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