Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
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