Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
