I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
