nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
