Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
found the other keg... it's in the tree
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
