So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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