I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
