Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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